Have you noticed that everywhere you go – restaurants, meetings, the park, museums, university classes, etc. – a significant (if not majority) of people are glued to the screen? Over the past several months or so, I’ve made it a point to take note of how much this is actually going on. And I’ll be honest that these observations started when I realized that I had a problem. What I have found is that making these observations is much more entertaining than the damned mini-computer that wants to control me.
So I’ve put together a top 10 list that can help you decide whether you have a moderate to severe case of “screen fever.”
Signs that your condition is moderate (mild doesn’t exist):
- You can’t get through a meal without looking at your cellphone.
It doesn’t matter if you are at home, at a restaurant, or even chowing down in the car (most dangerous), you find yourself glancing at your phone and/or computer every other bite. Next time you go out to eat, make it a point to check out the tables near you and see how many people/families you spot with eyes locked on their phones. Last time we were out, there was another family of six and guess what they were all doing? Yup, on el chingao cellular, every single one of them including the 6 year old chamako who was sporting a better phone than mine!
- You spend a significant part of a meeting reading email, looking at the latest FB chisme, sending texts, etc.
All I can say is time yourselves people. Make it a point to notice how many minutes (or maybe seconds) pass by before you have to check your phone, again, during the meeting. I don’t know about you but seeing the organization’s top-notch vato continuously on his phone or computer throughout the whole damned meeting sent a clear message: what the rest of us were talking about was definitely not as interesting or not regarded as priority for him. Chale.
- You can’t drive from point A to point B without checking your phone.
I’m literally becoming more and more afraid to drive around town. Many of you don’t know this but I was hit driver’s side almost three years ago by a woman who ran a red light. Guess what the most likely hypothesis was of why she ran the red light? Yup, checking out what was on her phone and not my van right in front of her distracted face.
- It has become normal for you to talk to your partner, spouse, or significant other through FB posts and comments.
This one baffles me. I’ve tripped out how some couples/spouses spend most of their day posting on each other’s FB and/or commenting on each other’s posts. Que? Don’t you get enough convo at home?
- You strategically place your phone within arm’s reach when you go to bed.
You find yourself waking up at odd hours of the night and not to use the bathroom or get a drink of water, it’s to check to see if any interesting updates have come through.
Here are the signs that your condition is severe (and you might require professional help or may need to quit cold turkey):
- You have succumbed to the act of texting while driving. Really severe: You have even found yourself texting while on the highway.
No explanation needed, it’s just insane. It’s like reading a book while driving. “Oh I got it honey, don’t worry I can multi-task.” Bull. What trips me out is that people think that others don’t notice or maybe they haven’t realized it’s so obvious. “I swear I wasn’t looking at my phone! I was looking at the cat in my lap!”
- You literally can’t use the bathroom (and I’m not talking #1) without your phone. You even find yourself routinely sending a text and/or posting a FB status when you’re on the pot (and no I don’t mean on ‘pot,’ I mean literally using the escusado (toilet).
Gross, right? According to a recent study, 1 out of 6 cellphones are contaminated with fecal matter. Can you guess why? I couldn’t believe a professor, yes professor, posted an update that her cellphone had fallen in the toilet. WTF. Why was the phone in there with you to begin with?
- You found yourself in a state of horrific panic when you momentarily lost/misplaced your phone.
I mean you were literally cussing through a dry heave attack while tearing up everything in sight looking for your phone. And when you managed to find the damned thing (sitting on top of the toilet), your reflex was to hug and kiss it (potential feces and all).
- You have replaced 95% of real-time conversations with family & friends with social media.
Who needs to have real, in the flesh conversations with family and friends when you got el Facebook, Snapchat, and Facetime?
- You refuse to acknowledge that you have a problem.
Conclusion: I’m not about to say that I don’t have a problem too. How do you think I came up with part of the list? Eh!
Gente, realizing you have a problem is the first step in the process to recovery, right?
#lablogadora #screenfever #cellphoneaddiction #Chicana