Yes I know it’s been a while, been so consumed and slightly overwhelmed with las batallas.
But I had to take time to write about what happened today because I’m still laughing over it. So for the last couple of weeks I’ve developed this strange twitchy eye thing and it’s only my left eye. The best way to explain it is that it starts jumping or twitching or maybe twerking (haha!). I think I’m noticing that it tends to flare up during moments of pressure, extreme stress, and from simply being over-caffeinated.
I’ve tried not to become too conscious of it because then I know it will bother me even more. So today I was given a “get out of jail free” pass to write and there I am drinking my foamy triple vanilla latte when the eye twerk starts. I was trying to ignore it as best I could. And as most other normal human beings of course I take moments here and there to glance around and observe my environment. There I was minding my own business looking through the window opposite from where I was sitting when I notice this young-ish guy looking right at me with a sly smile. I was taken aback for a moment and quickly regained my cool and provided a semi-smile and started working again.
There I am trying to concentrate on the dissertation while trying to control and ignore the twerky ojo when the guy comes over sits right in front of me and says “hi there lady.” Que?! At this point I have lost a bit of the Latina composure and I shoot back with an “excuse me?” Then he says too happily “so how are you today?” said in an ever so supposedly cool voice. By now the eye is totally out of control and I’m like “do I know you? Were you my former student?” and he’s like “no I don’t think so” while raising his eyebrows at me several times
Then it hit me like two tons of bricks that this poor dude mistook my damn twitchy eye for me winking at him! Ay dios mio en que problemas me va meter este ojo loco!
In the best tone that I could possibly muster while holding back this intense need to LOL, I said “I’m so sorry I think you’re mistaken. I’m not looking for a random coffee hook-up, I have a twerky out-of-control eye.” “See!” as I point to the crazy eye.
You should have seen how fast he bolted out of the shop.
So next time you’re out and about and think someone’s winking at you, just make sure that before you glide on over with a pre-fabricated pick-up line that it’s not the eye-twerk syndrome.